Ignorance

“Ignorance is bliss.”

Ignorance is defined as a lack of knowledge and information.  Bliss is defined as perfect happiness or great joy.  So essentially the saying “Ignorance is bliss” means one should be extremely happy having a lack of knowledge about a topic.  This could be true in certain traumatic circumstances, but the majority of time this is not a good thing.

Ignorance is what comes to mind right now.  Ignorance from lawmakers and politicians.  Ignorance from those in support of bills that would harm children.  Ignorance about what gender and gender identity are.  Ignorance about what it means to be trans.

Everything I see lately is about bills that would ban trans girls from sports.  Bills that would ban trans children from getting the medical care they have a right to and need.  Bills that would make parents out to be abusers.  Bills that hurt many children and families.  

And ignorance is the word I think of with all of these bills.  These people making these decisions have a lack of understanding about what they are trying to ban.  They don’t seem to understand what it means to be trans.  They think parents are harming their children.  They are ignorant.  They don’t have all of the information.  They don’t seem to understand the harm they are causing.  

Ignorance scares me.  I’m lucky enough to live in a state that is not and hopefully will never consider one of these bills.  But it definitely makes me hurt for all these families that are living in places where these bills have been proposed.  If these bills become laws in those states, it’s going to be devastating to many children and their families. 

I hate to admit it, but I worry about Hayden the most of all my children.  As a parent, I feel like I should worry about all my children the same.  I feel like it’s in the same category as picking a favorite child.  As a parent, we should not have a favorite child.  But Hayden has the greatest chance of having a more difficult life than his brothers.  And it’s because of bills like this that are full of ignorance.

Hayden has a more difficult road to navigate than his brothers.  He’s going to have to defend himself against ignorance time and time again.  Currently, Hayden seems to fall under gender nonconforming.   But based on recent conversations with him, I’m thinking he might actually be trans.  He hasn’t told us to change pronouns yet, but what he’s been telling us about who he is and feels like doesn’t seem to match the gender we thought he was at birth.  

And it’s bills like this that scare me.  It’s the ignorance people have about gender identity that ends up harming people.  There is nothing wrong with my child.  He is who he is.  But I do worry that if we change pronouns, life will become more difficult for Hayden.  Because of ignorance.  And this is what scares me the most.  

I am not surprised at all about what Hayden has been telling us.  He has been showing us who he was from such a young age.  Hayden has always known who he was.  And I’m hoping we are raising him in an environment that lets him know it’s okay to be you.  We love and support him no matter what.  And once Hayden is fully confident in who he is and if that means changing pronouns, then that’s what will happen.  But the ignorance of others is what makes everything so much harder. 

Will I have to fight like all these parents in other states are doing?  Will I have to constantly worry about the sports my child plays, the bathroom my child uses, the acceptance my child receives from others?  Because when I see that smile, I see a happy child.  I see a kid full of confidence.  How could a lawmaker look at a child like Hayden and think the worst?  How could they think parents are abusers for simply loving their child for who they are?

I can only hope that one day, all these people will finally see that ignorance is not bliss.  Ignorance is what destroys people.  It destroys families.  And it destroys the well-being of children.  Maybe one day, an understanding will be reached.  And many families will not have to live in constant fear and worry about their children.         

Show 5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. This. So much of this speaks directly to me. I, too, share your fear about the repurcussions my child could face under all these ignorant individuals conspiring against the trans community. I, too, have a child who pursues the path of much resistance — “girl” toys, “girl” clothes, “girl” acitivities. What the heck does that even mean? If a child loves particular toys, clothes, activities, then that is “their” toy, clothing, activity.
    My prayer is that society let children be themselves and recognize their passions and pursuits as their very own — not some hidden agenda.
    Let my child be happy!

    • Mom of 3

      Yes exactly! I 100% agree!

  2. Terry

    I, too, am concerned and a bit furious over the attempt at these laws. Our government is letting us down in a huge way. I do not understand why people can’t just be who they are. I have known gay and trans people my whole life. They are just people. Who gives anyone the right to judge them or force laws upon them. This is insanity. How can I help?

    On a lighter note, I believe Hayden and Cora still plan to get married. 💜💚

    • Mom of 3

      I’m just hoping our state keeps protecting children like Hayden. LOL They are kind of a package deal for anything.

  3. Mary Ann

    Extremely well said. I like to think I was pretty accepting before becoming a parent, but after? I couldn’t imagine rejecting or disowning my child for who they are or for choosing a path that makes them feel whole. That is not always the easiest path by a long shot and it takes a great deal of courage to do so. The expression “it takes a village” is embraced and applauded as a positive. Well, let’s apply it to all of our children and their supportive parents and open our hearts and minds to them, supporting them in pursuing their true selves. Let’s not add the the fear that automatically comes with being a parent worried for our children. Let’s not make it harder by being small minded and cruel.

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