“Skiing is over, I can finally put on a skirt.”
Anxiety. It’s something we all feel on a daily basis. The world is a scary place right now. There’s a pandemic, worries about if schools will stay open or close, an inauguration that should help ease some anxieties but seems to be causing anger and unrest with a lot of people. No one knows what will happen. I know I’m worried on a daily basis. 2021 has started off as quite the year already.
And I know my children feel my worry. They sense it in my moods. They feel it when I stress out over the socks. Why are there always socks on the floor? Why are socks everywhere? It’s not the socks that are bothering me. Well, maybe, just a little. But it’s everything else that is stressing me out and I’m taking it out on the socks.
I also notice the worry in my children. They may not have the words for it, but I can tell when something is worrying them. They may have a meltdown over the littlest thing. They may fight with each other. They might talk about and give me attitude. They worry just as much as adults.
What I’m finding most worrisome for me as a parent, is the anxiety Hayden has when he is not in a dress or a skirt. It’s very rare that he is without a dress or a skirt. But ski lessons is one of the few places he wears sweatpants and no dress or skirt. And it bothers him. A LOT.
I knew it would be an issue. But trying to tuck a skirt or a dress into his snow pants is nearly impossible. And when it is tucked in, he often complains about everything being bunched up. So I thought we would try skiing in the girliest ski clothes I could find. He has purple snow pants, pink and purple ski gloves, pink ski goggles, and tons of sweat pants in pinks and purples (his favorite colors to wear). His coat is blue, but he picked it out. But, the fact that none of these items were a skirt or a dress really set him over the edge.
He threw a huge meltdown before walking out the door. He didn’t issue one complaint all of ski lessons. But as soon as we came home, he immediately found a tutu. “Now I can put a skirt on!” was what he said. He immediately relaxed and had no other complaints the rest of the day.
It’s amazing how one little thing can throw off our whole day. It can cause such anxiety. It may be something as trivial as your socks being put in the wrong dresser drawer. But in that moment, it’s the end all.
So how do we cope with all this anxiety? I know I typically let it all build up and end up exploding, usually at my husband’s expense. I find my children tend to throw tantrums when it’s just too much. They usually don’t let it bottle up as long as I do.
I am a natural worrier. I worry about everything. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and not get back to sleep because I’m worrying. I worry about the world. I worry about my job. I worry about my kids. I worry about how people will treat Hayden. I worry if I’m doing the best I can for my family. And of course I worry about any awkward moments I have ever had in my life.
I like to think we have shown Hayden we support him in every way. I hope we’ve shown him that he can wear dresses wherever we go. But, this anxiety about not being able to wear a dress skiing concerns me. Is there something more he is trying to tell us? Is it really about the skirt or the dress, or is it about something else? Maybe it is just about the skirt or dress and I am just worrying again.
But, what I do know is that we all have anxieties. And we all have to find ways to release these anxieties, whether it is talking to someone, working out, or ignoring life and binging Netflix for a few hours. And I know that Hayden will find his own way to deal with his anxieties. And we will help him in every way that we can. But, in the moment, it’s not always easy. Worry and anxiety can creep up at any time. I just hope that all my children understand that we are there for them in all of these moments. No matter what.
