“When can I see my friends again?”
Hayden has asked this question almost daily since the world shut down. This has been a challenge for all of us in different ways. Don’t even get me started about trying to teach online while juggling a two year old and keeping up with a pre-k and kindergartner’s lessons. Let’s just say March-June was a huge learning curve filled with too much TV and a lot of junk food. Maybe even a few meltdowns (from both parents and kids). I looked forward to the last day of school more than I ever have before.
Living close to the state line, I actually teach in a different state than where I live. That means things can get tricky during the best school years (different starting dates, different ending days, different holiday breaks, etc.). But now, things have become even more complicated. Different states, in different phases, means different plans for starting school. Different plans for starting school means childcare is an issue for my school aged children. I have run every scenario through my brain, trying to figure out what will work for my family. And honestly, none of the scenarios are good. None of the scenarios are close to what I dreamed my children’s primary school education would be. None of the scenarios are easy. None of the scenarios are fair to teachers, parents, families and kids. Nothing about this whole situation is easy.
This Pandemic has had its share of challenges. It has affected my kids in ways I never imagined. My oldest two have a bond I never thought possible. They do practically everything together. They sleep together. They have shared a room since Hayden was around two, but now they have been sleeping in the same bed. Every night. They miss each other on the rare ocassion they are out of the house without each other. Which is maybe for a 15 minute car ride to pick up take out with Dad. It’s a bond I hope they never lose. They have epic fights. Screaming, throwing, destroying Lego creations, hiding toys. But they still come back to each other. My two year old doesn’t have this bond with his brothers. He’s usually the one destroying their creations. But he adores them. He has grown into his own during this time as well. He still doesn’t have a lot of words, but he is communicating better with us than he ever has before. He is helping himself to snacks in the fridge and pantry. He has figured out how to open the screen doors so he can go outside whenever he wants. A few scares for Mom and Dad when he figured out how to go outside by himself. More independence, but not all independence we want him to have just yet.
But, the pandemic has affected them all socially. Especially Hayden. My oldest misses his friends, but he’s not as social as Hayden. Hayden loves people. Every time UPS or USPS has to drive up the driveway to drop off a package, he wants to talk to them. He wants to tell them his whole life story. He craves socialization. This has been the hardest part for him during the whole pandemic. He just wants to be around people.
And this is part of the reason Kindergarten is going to be so hard in the Fall. Not only because none of the situations are ideal. Not because I will again have to figure out how to juggle teaching my students and helping my children with another not normal school year. But because Kindergarten isn’t going to be the way it started out for my oldest son. Every situation we are presented with for this school year has shown us this. The way most kindergartners socialize won’t be allowed. There will be no sharing of supplies. There will be no morning hugs or high fives from the teacher. There will be no freedom to choose to sit on a pillow, in a bucket, at a table, lay on the floor, whichever is the best way for that student to complete independent work. The learning aspect will be there. But the socialization aspect will be completely different.
Hayden will be able to see his friends again. But it might not be in the same way he was hoping to. If his school decides to do cohorts, he may not even be in the same cohort as his friends. Even if he’s not in the same class as his friends, there is always recess. All the kindergarten classes have lunch and recess at the same time. But, that is going to look different as well. All these scenarios and what ifs are hard for everyone. I understand it from all sides. I just worry how all this will affect my social butterfly in the long run. How is it going to affect all students in the long run? There is no perfect scenario in this situation. There are no immediate right answers. We are all going to do what we feel is best for our families. We can all agree it sucks. And we can all agree this is not how we imagined our children starting Kindergarten. On the other hand, Hayden has decided he is not going to wear “boy” clothes again. He loves his skirts and dresses and that is what he wants to wear. A positive from this whole situation is that Hayden has figured out who he is. But, I still worry a lot about what Kindergarten will be for him. So when Hayden asks, “When can I see my friends again?” My answer is still, “I really don’t know.”
