“Boys can have long hair!”
I’ve mentioned before how I wish I was as confident as Hayden. He is just so sure of what he wants and likes and he’s not afraid to let other people know that. I’ve noticed a huge shift in his comfort around his friends lately as well. He’s not as quiet about letting them know boys can wear dresses and play with dolls.
I feel that part of his comfort is knowing that he can wear what clothes he’s most comfortable in. We never put him in boy clothes anymore. He actually sat with me one day and we went through his closet together. He pulled out everything that he did not like and said they were all for his younger brother. His closet is now filled with colorful, frilly clothes that he loves to wear. He even went as far as pulling out all the pajamas that he refuses to put on.
Hayden has decided to grow his hair out. He was very disappointed the first day after this decision to wake up with short hair. He thought his hair was going to grow instantly. I’m hoping when his hair is longer, he’ll be satisfied with headbands and maybe some cute barretts. I am not one for doing fancy braids or ponytails. I’m lucky I even can get my hair into a decent ponytail most days. I have to admit, when I gave birth to three sons, I thought I would get out of having to worry about hair since I’m not very good at doing hair. Having to help someone with their hair is going to be a huge learning curve for me.
Hayden was playing Barbies with one of the few families we have been seeing during this pandemic. He told the girl that he wanted to have long hair like the Barbie he was playing with. He was decked out in a frilly dress and Frozen flip flops. The little girl looked at him and said, “but boys have short hair.” I found it interesting that his clothing and choice of toys didn’t phase her, but the hair is what seemed to confuse her. There was a time period when both men and women had long hair. I’m really curious when short hair became the norm for men, and why it’s one of the first things we look for when identifying if a person is male or female in public. If anyone could point me in the right direction to find out more about this, I’d really appreciate the history lesson!
I was impressed when Hayden said, “Boys can have long hair too!” And he is one hundred percent right. It may not be the norm today, but there are still plenty of men out there with long hair. One of his best friends’ dad has long hair and her mom has short hair. A few months ago, this would have been one of the times Hayden would have pretended he didn’t hear his friend make that comment. But, now, knowing that he can freely choose what he wears, he is definitely more confident when being confronted about his choices.
He was super excited to wear his new Elsa dress, with his Elsa mask and his Elsa backpack and sneakers on the first day of Kindergarten. He rocked Kindergarten screening and we are so excited about the class he is in. He could not wait to ride the bus with his big brother and go to school. He is only a few days into Kindergarten at the moment, but he is loving it. And I’m so proud of how he is expressing himself. He even had a child tell him boys can’t wear dresses and he simply responded with, “Yes they can.” This is huge for him; using his words to defend his likes and interests.
I am finding, most of the time, children are just curious. And even when the questions were not meant to be rude, Hayden would take them that way. He would shy away from their questions and pretend he didn’t hear them. He would still walk around confidently in his choice of clothing, but he didn’t like the confrontation. Now, he knows he doesn’t have to bring out those “boy” clothes again, unless he wants to, and I think that has given him an extra confidence boost. His friend was just curious, and was trying to figure out if boys could have long hair. I’m thinking the child at school was probably just trying to figure out why a boy was wearing a dress as well. And Hayden didn’t seem to let the questions bother him. He confidently answered both and then he continued on with his day.
I am hoping he will continue to have the confidence to express what he likes in Kindergarten. And that one little question won’t bother him. He is a pretty confident kid. He is definitely ready to take on Kindergarten. And Kindergarten is ready for him!
It shouldn’t come as any surprise that he is growing more comfortable speaking up for himself. He knows now more than ever before that you are there to support him and defend him. You deserve all the credit for his confidence.
Thank you! <3
I’d be happy to teach you how to braid and do a fishtail! Easy peasy. Hailey can braid, too!
I may need your help when the time comes!
As you know, one of my twins loves “all things girly” and the other is what society would call “all boy,” but both of them have long hair. I think society is getting more and more accepting of long hair on boys. Ours call it “football hair” because we are a football family (their Dad coaches) and we all love Trevor Lawrence.
I am so proud of how your little one is navigating this tricky world we live in. Sending all kinds of positive vibes and acceptance from others.
Thank you! I hope the school year is off to a good start for your little ones as well! Is your area having a football season? We are Packers fans, I completely forgot about how many football players have long hair. I should pull up pictures of my team for my son!
We are having a good school year thus far. We started back on a hybrid schedule. Tomorrow ALL the students report back to the building. Fingers crossed. The kids have been really great about wearing masks. I’m so proud of them, so I believe this should be a successful merging of the two halves of the alphabet into fully-packed classrooms. I hope your year is going well too.
We are in football season. We just finished game 3. So far, so good!
That is great you can still have a football season. Our area has postponed all Fall sports for the time being. My children’s district is back every day for k-6. 7-12 are back on more of a hybrid schedule. The district I teach in his currently on a Hybrid schedule but moving to everyone being back in the classroom for 4 days a week with Wednesday being a deep cleaning day.
Take a bow because you are, in large part, the reason for this confidence. Being willing to step out of your comfort zone as a mom who wanted to both protect her child and not be judged herself took courage. I’m pretty sure that your wholehearted acceptance and courage has been pivotal in H’s shift as well. Kudos. You are an inspiration.
Thank you! It’s always nice to hear positive words!