“Be who you want to be.”
We have spent a long time trying to get this message across to our children. Don’t be afraid of being yourself. Be whoever you want to be. It’s something we have always encouraged our children, but I feel like even more so once Hayden declared he was only going to wear dresses.
We have read countless children’s books about being yourself and remind the boys every day that it’s okay to be different. Everyone likes what they like. And that is okay.
In a time of such uncertainty, I feel it is even more important for my children to understand that they should never be ashamed of who they are. Everyone is unique. And they all are unique in different ways. They should never change themselves for someone else. Especially, if it means changing what they love most and who they truly are.
My oldest son tends to be our most challenging child behaviorally. He can be quite impulsive in certain situations. He’s the one I’ve had to carry like a sack of potatoes, kicking and screaming out of public places when he was a toddler. But, his protectiveness over his brothers (even if they fight like cats and dogs at times) has been truly amazing.
He came home the other day with an art project. The project was on a paper plate, with a picture of himself, drawn and cut out, so that it could stand on the plate. He then wrote a message on the plate saying, “Be who you want to be.”
When asked about his project, his response was simple. “Everyone should be who they want to be, just like Hayden.”
His response just melted my heart. Such a simple message. But such a strong message. He clearly has been listening to everything we have been talking about at home for months. He absolutely loves his brother. And doesn’t think twice about the clothes his brother is most comfortable in. For our children, this is just normal.
In my experience, children are the most accepting of people who are different. They may ask things out of curiosity but once they have their curiosity explained, they just go about their day. Adults, I find perseverate on things. They don’t always let things go. And if things make them uncomfortable, they are less likely to accept those things.
But, a person, should not have to change who they truly are just because the adults around them are uncomfortable. Hayden’s happiness is contagious. He is truly happy being able to be his true self. His older brother knows this is who Hayden is. And he loves him for it. Besides his parents being his biggest ally and advocate, Hayden’s older brother is one of his biggest ally’s as well. I just wish that message was as easy for everyone else to understand. Just be who you want to be.
